The Tribulations of Two Men
by RandomPlotbunnyTypist
Summary: <html><head></head>Two men experience a great trial. Will they succeed or will they fail? Comedic in nature. Rated T because I'm paranoid. Probably could do k plus but eh... better to be on the safe side.</html>


The Tribulations of Two Men

In front of me the cat strode grandly head held high,tail upright, eyes that did not falter. At least it did before I picked it up and absently tossed it somewhere to the left.

We continued to press forward, Master Ma and I, on our journey, our quest. This time we would not fail! Our hearts and souls depended upon it!

We crawled with determination through the enclosed walls, carefully stopping every now and then to detect if our opponents, or would be enemies had detected us, as the echoes of stepping feet below stopped we simultaneously froze. The cat, irritant that it was, meowed softly as its head hurt from the collision with the wall. My heartbeat increased. The person below us started walking again. Relief.

I stopped, in both my pace and my thoughts of a new power supply machine (using Kenichi energy of course) I was designing, as I heard an odd sound. What in the world? Ah that heartbeat was – so my young disciple and my old friend were at it again were they? Damn it, I sighed, as I started forward once more, my hamster will be out for the count for at least a week after this stunt. Oh well, at least my bone-setter clinic will get some funds soon.

As I exited the building by way of the main hall I heard an odd sound. A screaming cat?

It was sunny, the birds were singing, the squirrels were playing with me! I was happy, the children were happy – hearing a terrified mew I made a ten foot jump and caught the cat that came out through the air vent and was flying towards the outside, basketball court floor. I talked to the wonderful, cute kitty. "What? A guy in a green robe kicked you out along with some idiot brat! Oh, remember not to use bad language, kitty."

I stood as I planned how to catch these mean people, "Apachai knows! There are a lot of weird people over at the place with those guys called yankees. And the chief guy had a green robe. Apa!"

The cat moaned as the idiot lept forward and sped off towards the local American Embassy. It sighed and jumped bravely back into the vents.

I entered the passcode my eyes carefully checking the area around me. An elder, blond man had told me to double check everything and make sure that no one penetrated the line of defense. My ears pricked up as I heard a sound above me. Intruders! I chuckled evilly as I called the main security center, "This is Idiot One, over. Do you read me Moronic Dimwit, over?"

A small crackle, "this is Moronic Dimwit, over. Who the hell chose these damn nicknames anyways, over?"

"Their chosen randomly by our bosses, Flunky and Minion. Whose names were chosen randomly by their bosses, Level Two Flunky and Level Two Minion and their boss chose -"

"Ya ya I get it, Idiot indeed, what you need anyways?"

"You forgot over, over."

"Tell me what you need already Idiot One!"

"...over."

I chuckled as I said with glee, "activate the final defense for the air-vents the ACME Decimation Rocket Bomb, over."

"Moronic Dimwit activating tier five, section three, defense...over."

The rocket, that navigated by rails, shot off. I smiled coolly, and waited for the sound effects. Frowning as nothing happened I lifted my radio as I prepared to call my comrade again when, "Boom!"

All the fire alarms went and smoke issued from the air vents before the sprinkles put out the fire. Whistling a merry tune I continued my patrol. No one got past Idiot One. No one.

Two unharmed men in an air vent looked at each with confused faces before shrugging as they moved to yet again complete their dangerous and life-risking mission, after one looked at the blueprints for the massive structure.

In a different section of the building a cat shot screaming out of one of the vents, and in less than a minute a low orbit was achieved by it.

I exhaled then inhaled, as I lifted the enormous weights. Weighing over 200 pounds apiece they weren't for brats. A bit on the small side maybe, but I had to work with what I had. I would, I suppose make do, however – sounds came from above. Hmm who on earth would be crawling through the vents in this place, perhaps I should alert security – I paused as several cans of beer dropped from above. Forget it.

We pressed forward, the second last major obstacle was passed. The elder was gone, Akisame-sensei was fooled, Sakaki-sensei had been bribed, Master said Apachai was running around shouting several cities away. The goal was within our grasp!

Now all I had to do was – I reached up and grabbing Master's head shoved it back, I whispered quickly, "me first!"

Master grabbed my foot and we began our silent struggle as we made our way to our destination. As we approached the opening in the vent my heart began to flutter and as we crawled the last few feet the sun shone merrily threw the opening to the sky above us. The grille that we sought was just ahead as we crawled to it and peered down.

A horrifying scream echoed throughout the building as two men tried to rip out their eyes with their bare hands.

"Truly is he cruel!" commented aloud a man with a peach-fuzz mustache.

Chuckling to myself I glanced at the new, and improved version of the building blueprints in my hands. A cat, having earlier fallen from the sky, was held in my grand-daughter's hands. Shigure paused in her journey and glanced back before saying a monotone, yet questioning, voice, "Kenichi?"

I laughed loudly, "both he and Master Ma decided to stop by the Fat, Gay and Proud of it Public Swimming Pool."

Shigure looked at the blueprints in my hands and with an understanding face said, "...ha..."

Miu, continuing to pet the happy cat, missing everything as usual. Yes, our young disciple had a long way to go.

The elder, the cat, and the two young, voluptuous women in towels made their way home from their trip to the public swimming pool. Which just happened to be next to a few other...temporarily convenient facilities.

AN: Just a short little humorous one-shot. If the response is positive I'll write something along the lines of a sequel ;).


End file.
